Dear World Changer,
I wanted to talk to you about moms, and ways to better and/or maintain a solid relationship with your mom!
Maybe you just read that line, and you’re thinking, “I have nothing to work on, my mom and I are fine”. I encourage you to see if you can’t learn even just one method to maintain that great relationship you already have. Maybe you are reading this thinking, “My mom and I fight all the time… this doesn’t really apply to me”. I encourage you to ask God how He wants YOU to work at improving your relationship with your mom. Mothers are some of the most valuable people God has placed in our lives, and we can’t take them for granted!
DISCLAIMER BEFORE WE CONTINUE…
I am writing as someone who is still learning how to have the best possible relationship with my mom! I am not saying I know everything, or that my mom and I are perfect. I am simply writing based on my observations, lessons I’ve learned, and my experiences.
Now, without further ado, here are the tips and tools I wanted to share, in hopes that you may take even one idea with you into your relationship with your mom!
- SHE’S NOT YOUR ENEMY!
I can’t remember how many times (there have been that many, yikes!) that my mom has said to me, “I’m not your enemy,” while I have been dishing some serious sass (not my finest moments). Sometimes it is hard, especially as young women, to healthfully direct our pent up frustration, stress, anxieties, etc. So, sadly, we end up spewing that “toxic build up” on our moms when they come into our rooms to tell us what time supper will be at! I have been learning over the years, with the HELP of my mom, where and when I should release that negative build up in order to avoid it being directed at her. Our moms are our number one fans. And often times they have walked through exactly what we have. Let’s try and see our moms as our support instead of our party poopers/opposing forces.
2. FIRST, MOM. SECOND, FRIEND… RESPECT!
Maybe your mom is keeping up with fashion trends better than you are, and resembles a sister or a friend rather than an older figure of authority. And hey, if my momma wants to embrace ripped jeans and American Eagle, I say go for it! But we can’t diminish our level of respect for our moms because of how they may look or act sometimes. When my mom goes from my closest friend to someone listing off chores I need to do, it can be easy for me to shut down, or push back against her authority. But in those instances, I (WE!) must remember that she committed to being my mom before she ever committed to be my friend. Not to say she can’t be close to me, but to say that she is deserving of a high level of respect because of the position God has placed her in in my life. If you stop trying to cram your mom into the “best friend box” before the “authority box”, your relationship with her will shift to be a healthy, fulfilling relationship.
- OPEN THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION…
In correlation to the two last points, you and your mom will not have a thriving relationship if you aren’t communicating with one another. I have learnt this and relearned it multiple times over the course of the past years. Your mom may not know you really well, but even if she does, she can’t read your mind! I’m not saying you need to spill your guts about everything going on in your life to your mom right this instant, you need to start communicating based on where you and your mom are right now, but start opening up to her. Instead of saying “good” when she asks you how your day was, actually answer her with a sentence or two. Instead of texting while she is telling you something, make eye contact and e n g a g e. You will be amazed in the ease with which you two share with each other when you are both engaged in your time spent together!
- DROP COMPARISON!
No relationship is perfect, because it is made up of two imperfect humans! Don’t strive to be like that mother-daughter duo in your church, on Instagram, in your neighborhood… I can assure you that you are only seeing the highlight reel of their relationship, plus you and your mom can have an awesome, unique, thriving relationship if you just focus on being your best selves…aside from what that looks like in other mother-daughter duos! Work towards achieving and maintaining a solid relationship with YOUR mom, who is a unique and special woman you shouldn’t take for granted. Invest in her, and your relationship, rather than the image/idea of another.
I hope you took something away from this post, and that you are spurred on to continue investing in your bond with your momma. A unique and irreplaceable bond. I’ll leave you with this Proverb, which I think sums up mothers pretty well:
‘When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.’
Now go, be a world changer alongside your world-changing mom!