Dear World Changer,
I was the kid in school who would never raise my hand to answer a question or even ask a question, I was afraid to be called on in class because that meant I would have to speak in front of a the class and potentially make a fool of myself, so I thought. After I would get a mark back from a school presentation comments by teachers included “give more eye contact to the audience” or “speak louder”, this lowered my mark and my confidence.
I was always quickly labeled as the shy, quiet, but sweet girl. After a while I allowed this “label” to define my worth, that whatever I would say or do was not worthy, therefore kept my feelings and thoughts to myself. I would often compare myself to others “why can’t I be as funny and outgoing as she is” or “how can I be as pretty as she is”. I remember I would come home sometimes and cry because I was honestly socially drained. I literally asked God is there something wrong with me but realized I was asking the wrong question instead God how can you use me in the situation I am in?
After many years comparing myself to others and trying to be somebody I was not only left me going in a downward spiral. I woke up one day and realized that being quite and more in the background was my personality and it is not a “bad thing” it is how God created me and has given me the gift of patience and being quiet which enables me to be a good listener.
When we think negatively about ourselves or have self -doubt we are actually criticizing one of God’s creations. When we preserve ourselves in God’s eyes it will change our attitude and actions. When I began to look through the lens of God my confidence boosted and actions took place.
In ladders years of high school I got the chance to be the back stage manager of the school plays, where I learned many skills and had a blast getting to know the actors and crew. I was definitely not the one to be in the spotlight but managing the stage was a huge responsibility.
I developed a passion for children. I may have been shy with my peers but when talking with children my confidence grows.
I began to open up and be transparent with people, which led to a best friend who I now get to call my husband.
Of course I continuously work in strengthening my weaknesses for example public speaking and verbal communication but I had to learn not to let the “labels” and the lies get me off track with my relationship with God and consume my thought life because that only blinds me from the opportunities God wants to use me in. I think its good to admit your low- self -esteem days but bring it to the feet of Jesus and allow him to strengthen you. I did not get to the place I am overnight it took self-discipline to change my attitude and thought life towards how I perceived myself. It took humility to humble myself before God. This is a continuous battle I face, I still face it but I know what scriptures to run to now and the discipline I need to turn the situation around.
I felt compelled in sharing a few tips in how to cope with low self-esteem and know you are not alone when dealing with this.
Coping with low self- esteem tips
Understanding the source
Make note of confidence-damaging sources. For example social media, comments others make, and negative thought life. By identifying the sources of confident boosters and confident downers allows you to take action in how to deal the “bad” sources.
Taking care of yourself
It is important to take care of yourself for you are a precious temple of God.
By exercising, getting proper sleep, and eating healthy.
Limit social media use and how you use social media
How others portray you on social media sites/apps does not define you!
It is easy to end up spending an hour on social media sites like Instagram, comparing yourself to others. We sometimes don’t intentionally go in looking for the best dressed on your feed but it begins to leak in subconsciously. Take time to “detox” and unplug from constant online interactions.
Change of mindset by naming the lies and proclaiming the truth!
This is key in overcoming low self-esteem! Write down negative thoughts you may have and right next to it write the truth that is in scripture or a positive thought.
For example “I am not worthy” instead “I am worthy”. Below are only a few scriptures that proclaim truth about who we are in Christ.
“ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14
“So God created human beings in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27
“Since you are precious and honoured in my sight, and because I love you I will give nations in exchange for you” Isaiah 43:4
“By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise also. 1Corinthians 6:14
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing will. Romans 12:2
“Yet all who did receive him, to those who believe in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” John 1:12
“No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and believed that I came from God” John 16:27
“For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” Colossians 1:13-14
Overall stay true to yourself and your identity as a child of God. Remember we are ambassadors on this earth representing the Kingdom of God 2 Corinthians 5:20.
Remember like I said before you are NOT ALONE, each of your big sisters has a story and I am sure many of you have stories of hitting a low point. Lets unite together as sisters in Christ and fight this battle, by encouraging, praying, and loving one another.
“Don’t let anybody dull your sparkle”