The Year of Courage

Dear World Changer,

Just like some of you, I have never named my year before 2018. I didn’t know where to start in doing so, which is a situation you guys may have found yourselves in. I looked over the big goals I set for myself this year. I’m a huge dreamer when it comes to making plans. So as big and daunting goals loomed over me, I felt the word courage.

I will need courage to get through all the plans He has for me this year. Entering a new chapter of my life with starting university, digestive issues that impact me every single day as I figure out what works and what doesn’t, learning what being a leader at IntenCity for the first time entails, etc. There are a lot of things that are new to me and unknown. It takes a lot of courage to walk through unknown situations.

Therefore, I’ve named COURAGE over my year. Courage, by definition is “the ability to do something that frightens one” or “strength in the face of pain or grief”. As mentioned, there are many things I will walk through this year that frighten me or that will cause me pain, yet I will continue to walk through those situations. A part of Psalms 23:4 says; “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me”. Which I think is a perfect verse to go with the word courage. So may I walk through the valley of the known and unknown without anxiety and fear. May I have courage this year.



Dear World Changer,

For me, 2018 is the year of Replenishment. This word can be defined as “make full or complete again, as by supplying what is lacking, used up, etc.” This word came to me in the final week of 2017 and it was a timely one. I just finished exams, and before I started school I was working two part-time jobs over the summer. By the end of the year, I was truly exhausted in a way I had not experienced before. So, when the Lord gave the word replenishment two things came to mind. First, was peace. I knew that after a busy period I needed to rest. Second, was excitement because in comparison to the other words God named my year this was one completely different. Like last year, 2018 will be a year of transition but I believe Jesus will reveal another layer of it.

One of my favourite songs lately is ‘Seasons’ by Hillsong (it is amazing, I would highly recommend listening to it). The chorus goes like this:

“I know though the winter is long even richer the harvest it brings though my waiting prolongs even greater your promise for me like a seed I believe that my season will come”

What I love about those lyrics is that it not only communicates the importance of doing each season of life well (as hard as it can be at times) but it reminds us that when we wait upon Jesus it is active not passive. Now how does that relate to my year of replenishment? During this transitional time in my life, the major decision upon me is graduate school. The schools I applied to could respond anytime between February and April. Based on how it all goes will determine my next steps.

So, what do I until then? Well, there are two areas of replenishment God is leading me in. First is personal replenishment. I feel called to invest in myself by doing things that fulfill me. For me those things are reading, learning how to crochet, being relational and taking care of my health. The final area is spiritual replenishment it involves cultivating a deeper relationship with the Holy Spirit, growing in the ways He wants me to in this season, and being sensitive to His voice.

A verse that has been guiding me is Psalm 90:12 (ESV) and it says, “so teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom”. What I love about this verse is it teaches me that although I have more free time, it doesn’t mean I can go about my life aimlessly, each day needs to be intentional. What helps me be intentional is writing it down. If I don’t write it I usually don’t do it because I won’t remember it.

In the past, I have been in seasons of DOING but right now I am in a season of BEING. Both seasons are necessary. In a season of being, I am learning that it requires me to pay attention to where I am NOW. There some big unknowns in my life but worrying about them is not productive. I know worrying is easier said than done but in times of uncertainty I ask myself this question that I pose to you, where do you put your hope and trust in? What brings life is focusing on what Jesus wants us to do now. If we pine for what we desire no matter how good it may be, it can create discontentment in our hearts. I’m not saying that you should not have hopes for the future. I’m just saying that we need to be mindful of letting our desires lead us astray from what God is currently doing in our lives. Another amazing thing about a season of being is that He prepares us in ways we’re unaware of.

My dear world changers Jesus has so much in store for you in 2018. He is truly just getting started. This year there will be some bumps along the journey but I promise you that He will work it all together for your good (Romans 8:28). No matter what God has named your year go after seeking it with all that is within you.





Dear World Changer,

If you have ever heard me sing, you have probably plugged your ears. If you have ever seen me dance, you have probably closed your eyes… and told the person sitting next to you, that it is best if they close their eyes too.

As a junior higher, I had always wanted to be known for one thing, and one thing only. I hoped that one night, God would give me the voice of an angel and I would be known for my voice. All my close friends at the time were dancers so, you bet your bottom dollar, I wanted to be just like them. I hoped that God would give me the ability to dance the way they did.

Fast forwards six years… it still hasn’t happened. I am not your typical church girl who has downloaded all five versions of Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) by Hillsong… never mind being able to sing the original. I cannot dance majestically to… well any song really. I wasn’t given the ability to sing or dance, but thankfully I was given the ability to live a wild and free life… and so are you.

A wild and free life? What in the world? Well, let me start by explaining “wild”.

God calls each and every single one of us His people. You’ve heard it multiple times before, though it says in Genesis 1:27 “So God created human beings in his own image”. If you know the same God as I do, you must have a pretty good understanding on how creative he really is. He is not just one thing, he is multiple. He is not just love, nor is he just patient… he is both (and much more). I don’t know about you, but I was caught up in the “what is my gifting” stage of life for a long time. Though, I came to a realization that I am not supposed to be just one thing. God never puts labels on us. He doesn’t call us “love” or “humorous”. He calls us by our name. A name that defines billions of things. He created us to be wild, to run with wisdom and knowledge of who He says we are.

Often times we find ourselves afraid to be wild. The world has created this stigma on the word wild… as if no being should ever stand close to living on the edge.“You don’t want to put yourself out there too much… ” they say. I give that statement a huge thumbs down. When did God ever say that we are “too much” for him? People have said to me countless of times, “Bernadette, calm down, you’re too wild”. Most of the time when this comment has been made to me, I feel like the “boring people police” has given me a ticket for stepping out of my comfort. Although, not once in the Bible does it indicate that God wants us to be trapped in a box. Just look at the life of Jesus. His whole life was based off of living on the edge. He went on so many adventures and did so many crazy things that caught the people’s attention, in which they were then led to God. Now, let’s take a peek into our own lives. God provides us each with different opportunities every single day because he calls us all to be wild. He calls you to do things no one else but you could do. He calls you to be crazy and to live a life full of courage and bravery, to experience the things in which he has planned for you.

You’ve heard the story of Jesus’ death on the cross a number of times. Sometimes, we hear it so often that we miss out on the significance in the story. Jesus didn’t just die for our sins to be forgiven and the story ends there. No, he died to reveal to the world how much he loves us and to allow us to live a life full of freedom. He did this to provide us with a life of true meaning in which we can write a story with a clean slate. To live a life free from guilt, anger, depression, anxiety, you name it. Jesus takes it all from us so we can live freely. Now, you may be reading this thinking, “If Jesus said he would take it all from me, why do I still have sin in my life”? Well, truth is folks… none of us are perfect. Sometimes (for myself, very often…) we make bad decisions and end up being trapped in a box, that we somehow manage to put ourselves in. 

So, world changer, you ARE free. Free from any labels, free to run, and free to dance. You are free to start writing your wild and free story. With an understanding of who God calls you to be… the world is at your fingertips.

I began to write my wild and free story just last year. It all started in a coffee shop with one of my mentors. I told her how God gave me this crazy idea, that I need to bring an event similar to Radiate to my school. I wasn’t sure how I was going to do it, or where to even start, but she encouraged me to be obedient and God would take care of the rest. I entered the school year with excitement, though nothing came from it. I had gathered teachers and guidance counsellors together to present the idea. They were supportive, yet they did not see the true purpose in having this event. Soon, that excitement was quickly stolen from me. Satan would constantly whisper “this was no God given dream”.  So, you guessed it, I doubted God… a lot.

One full year had gone by, and I am now into my senior year! I came back to school with a refreshing confidence knowing that God’s plan was not finished. Over the summer I had been listening to the local christian radio station when Joyce Meyers came on. She said a bold statement that changed my perception on how I was doing things. “God can’t drive a parked car” she said. So, I decided to start the engine again, in which God instantly led me to my principal. I briefly described what the event would look like and why I wanted to have it take place at our school. I told him I wanted to name it Dynamic because I believe God has made every girl with unique qualities in which ties us all together. We are all a piece to his puzzle.

Fast forward to Thursday November 30th, 2017 at 5:30pm. Over 75 girls signed up and swarmed into my high school gymnasium with expectant hearts. They picked up their personally written cards which had a word of encouragement for each of them. At the bottom was a verse in which most christians know, although to someone who has never been exposed to the Bible, this verse was something very new. “She is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future” Proverbs 31:25. I chose this verse because “wild and free” is written all over it. I wanted to give the girls a glimpse into what a life of freedom could look like, in hopes that they would want that same freedom for themselves. The night was then followed by food, music, dancing, games, giveaways and a message by our very own…  Pastor Natasha. As the night went on I became more and more excited about what God had put together. A sense of true joy flooded the room and you could see every girl become unchained piece by piece.

As the night came to an end, I had one girl come up to me explaining how grateful she was to be there in that moment. She explained to me how her home life was not good at all. Every pause that Pastor Natasha took, she feared that the message was coming to an end. She just couldn’t get enough. She knew there was such life, truth, and freedom that came from every word that was spoken.

This was when my eyes were really opened to what God had done. Despite every challenge that I faced (and there was A LOT) God’s plans never failed. He used that desire of mine to be wild and free and gave me a project in which he knew would not only open my own eyes, but the eyes of the people around me. Now don’t get me wrong, this whole journey was definitely not all sunshine and rainbows. Although I prayed constantly to be used… I didn’t want to be used anymore in these challenging moments. I felt like I was constantly being shut down by everyone around me. In fact, one teacher would tell me every time we met to talk about the event, that I needed to think realistically. Being the rebellious teenager I am (hehe) I never listened to her. I knew God’s plans were way too big and crazy to be “realistic”. I wasn’t going to let someone who doesn’t know my God, tell me what he can and can’t do. Although I was I frustrated in those moments, the challenges I faced didn’t bother me in the end. I knew that if satan didn’t try to throw things in my way to distract me, I wasn’t completely being obedient to God.

So, my advice to you? Don’t shy away from being the person God has called you to be. We are never “too much” or “not enough” for him. He calls us all to be wild and free. To be able to do anything as he gives us all the courage and freedom to do so. Although it may seem crazy, do it anyway. Don’t just sit in the pews and pray in the churches, but get out there and flip the world upside down. So c’mon world changers… let’s get wild.



Eagle Eyes

Dear World Changer,

On behalf of the new year, I wanted to jump on the blog quickly and share my words/names for 2018. In years past, I have received one specific word or theme, but this year I received a few words that I want to look at with you guys. I have a huge dictionary and I love knowing the definitions of words so that I can better grasp the concept of them, and I’ll be sharing those definitions with you as well. This way my 2018 words can impact you the way they have impacted me.

The first, and most specific word that I felt for 2018 is “Greater”. The definitions for greater/great/greaten are: “to make more distinguished // increase in size or significance // considerable or remarkable in magnitude // preeminent over others”. What I felt the Lord was saying about my year with this word was that He not only wanted to bring me into a greater season (He takes us from glory to glory [2 Cor. 3:18]), but I also feel like He is going to show me a greater intimacy with Him. I am so excited to experience more of His love and His Kingdom.

And that leads me to the second word I got: “More”, which the dictionary defines as: “beyond a previously indicated amount // a greater extent or degree // to a progressively increasing extent…”. I believe that the Lord has MORE for me this year! More experiences, more encounters, more blessing. And I also believe there is more in me, in the sense that I can accomplish MORE, and am capable of MORE. So another thing that I am working towards this year is more discipline which will lead to more discovery with the Lord!

The last word I received for my new year is actually a phrase; Eagle Eyes. I was surprised that the dictionary had this “word” in it, but it actually defines “eagle eye” as: “the ability to see and observe with exceptional keenness // keen vision or insight.” Keenness is defined as “boldness, bravery, and sharpness”. This last promise is so encouraging to me. I want to experience this year with eagle eyes. No matter what comes at me, I want to soar above it, and boldly observe the Lord’s will in each season. I want to SEE what is coming and STILL soar with bravery.

And that is my prayer for you! That you, sweet one, would soar towards MORE! May this year take you from glory to glory with the Father, and may you bravely walk forward into it.


Much love,


My Year Of LIFE

Dear World Changers,

Are there any acoustic music lovers out there? If I’m honest, I love acoustic sets. It takes away all the extras and allows the words to be so real, raw, and at the forefront. Confession: learning the acoustic guitar is still on my bucket list – a list that only seems to get longer each year lol … Anyways, it was not too long ago that the song “Reckless Love” by Cory Asbury came out. I’m sure most of you have heard it. And if you haven’t…


stop reading this,


go listen,


and them come back.


But actually.


Did you?


Now, it was during the 2017 Christmas season that Cory released an acoustic version of this song and well, let’s just say, it was a MERRY Christmas to me! It’s been on R-E-P-E-A-T-T-T-T-T. (I won’t confess how many times!) As a whole, it is such a powerful song and has such a powerful message, but I want to point out a few specific lines.

At the very beginning of the song it says:


Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me

You have been so, so good to me

Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me

You have been so, so kind to me


I don’t know about you but those lines speak VOLUMES to me. Before we were even thought of THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE was singing over us. Think about that for a second. God knew you’d be where you are now, even before you were born where you were, and then came to where you are at. You may need to reread that; what a confusing, crazy and yet also peace giving thought. Then, while you were in your mom (yes, at one point you were in your mom, for NINE months I might add – wow, shout outs to my Mama), HE was the one who formed you from the start AND gave you LIFE. Those breaths you breathed today, all thanks to Him – have you ever heard the quote: if you’re still breathing, then God still has a purpose for you? It’s true. Despite what you may think.

The specific word here that I really want to point out is: LIFE.

How God breathed His LIFE into us.


Ahhh, what a word.


As the days were passing by this December I was really praying into where God was taking my 2018 – praying into the word that He may have for it. Something that I have been in the habit of doing for many years now. At first, the word didn’t seem quite clear and I wasn’t certain on the direction, until I came across this verse one day and couldn’t shake it; it reads:

18 Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” 19 Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead. 20 Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God21 being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.” (Romans 4:18-21)


Now, you may wonder where I am going with this, but bear with me.


Here in Romans 4 it talks about Abraham and Sarah. It talks about their “dead” situation. You see, God had promised that Abraham WOULD be the Father of many nations. One problem: him and Sarah were old and at a point where all seemed at a loss to have a child. Aka, they were past the point of having kids. Their situation truly seemed life-LESS. How could Abraham be the Father of many nations with no kids of his own? Yet, Abraham and Sarah remained faithful AND trusted in God’s faithfulness, and guess what? God brought LIFE to their dead situation. They became pregnant and had a son! As I read through the verses above I couldn’t help but feel a jump in my own spirit – how we often think our situations are dead and then God’s like: “think again, I gotchu!” God showed up for Abraham and Sarah and did the unimaginable. He literally did a 180. So what makes us, as 21st century humanity, think that God can’t do that today? The God who showed up for Abe and Sarah is in fact the SAME God of today. Do you believe that?

You see, He IS the God of LIFE. He’s the God of victory. He’s the God who brings dead situations to life and brings HOPE to the hopeless. He shows up in the mundane. He loves on the unlikely. His love seeps so deep no human words could fathom or articulate. He’s perfectly, perfect and undeniably, unbeatable. When all seems gone, He’s there. When all seems lost, His presence is ever present. He’s peace, joy, hope, and LIFE.

So yes, LIFE. It’s the word I’m declaring and praying over my 2018. I’m not sure the form it may come in, probably not a baby for me ;), but it’s a promise of my own. That God would bring LIFE over situations in my own life that have seemed dead, without hope. That I would cling to HIM – the one who gives HOPE and brings the miraculous like He did for Abraham and Sarah. And perhaps He has new journeys, new promises, new seeds for me to plant this year. Whatever the case, LIFE.

I challenge you to pray over your 2018 if you haven’t already. To pray over what God may have for you or for what He wants you to start declaring over your life for this 2018. Or maybe you already have a word for 2018, and if that’s the case, I still challenge you. I challenge you to look at your current life and re-kindle some faith for a situation that you may SEE as dead. Do you believe that God can bring LIFE to what seems dead? He did for Sarah and Abraham.

Remember the lyrics from Cory’s song? Do you really believe that God perfectly designed you and placed you where He did for a reason? He SO did, and if you think giving up now is going to help, that’s the exact opposite. That’s what the enemy wants you to think. Don’t lose hope. Don’t stop fighting. Keep pursuing HIM. Keep clinging to His promises and declaring LIFE over those areas of your life that seem dead. God IS a God of the miraculous and THE God of perfect timing. Trust that He does have a plan and a purpose for what you are walking through.

And, do me a favour? Choose to have an Abraham-like faith over your current situation. A faith so rooted and so deep that you can’t help but get up in the morning and praise Him again, because you KNOW He’ll be faithful.


Psalm 42:5 – “… for I shall again PRAISE HIM, my salvation and my God.”





Dear World Changer,

‘’Its time to claim your year!

2018 is yours!

Declare the word the Lord has for you!’’


All these phrases griped me just before New Year’s Eve. And so, I really began praying into 2018. Suddenly, PERSEVERANCE struck me.

Last year “to build” struck my fiancé at the time and I. Therefore 2017 became a year of new beginnings where foundations were going to be built. Now with new foundations set, we know that storms and tribulations will come. Therefore our prayer is that we will be able to stand and persevere, with God’s grace, whatever comes our way.

On a more personal note, God has shown me that I must persevere in being consistent and disciplined in different areas of my life. The first is making intentional devoted time with God in the mornings, which is hard for me to be honest as I am not the biggest morning person, just ask my husband. The second is being disciplined in my health habits. This means not eating the foods that make me sick and exercise regularly. Lastly, persevere in getting out my comfort zone to reach the goals and dreams God has placed on my heart.

Now as I lean on God’s plans I pray that through the course of this year I learn how to overcome difficulties and trials to experience the victory we have in Christ!

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character; and character hope. “

Romans 5:3-4 (NIV)



Dear World Changer,

Every year myself and the rest of the team ask God to “Name Our Year.” To give us a word, Scripture or sentence on what God has for us this year and what He wants us to focus on.

It creates this sense of expectancy. That…wow…..God really is working in my life, He really does have something for me.

Over the next few weeks, you’re going to hear from everyone on the team. First up is Jessica.


The pressure came fast, it was already over a week into January and I still hadn’t nailed down a name for my year. Oops! When it comes to naming my year, I love speaking an outflow of a heart of expectancy. What commitment do I want to make? Lord, what is it that you want to do this year?

Every time I sat down to pray, hoping for some epiphany of a name, I kept coming up blank. Literally nothing. And each time I would pray something along the lines of “God, I just want to make you my ultimate priority this year. I want you to be everything. To take all that I am and every moment that you give me and make it ALL about you. Your will be done.” Then I would close my journal hoping for some success the next day.

Perhaps you are a little quicker than I am in realizing that I was in fact declaring expectancy over 2018. *face palm*

So here I am a little late to the party BUT for me, 2018 is a year of SURRENDER. My prayer is that my plans would be an echo of His leading, my dreams would require His intervention, my flesh wouldn’t be my guide and my life would be an offering. I lay it down in exchange for whatever it may be that He has in store. I want to intentionally and consciously offer my life to Jesus, and make Him THE center of it all. The star of the show.

Throwing it back with a song that has been on repeat for me lately. It says,

I’m coming back to the heart of worship
And it’s all about you,
It’s all about you, Jesus
I’m sorry, Lord, for the thing I’ve made it
When it’s all about you,
It’s all about you, Jesus

John 3:30 – “He must become greater; I must become less”



Overcoming Lying

Dear World Changer,

Since youth got cancelled (insert crying face), here is a blog post! We’re also sending out a podcast tonight as well! So we’re doing IntenCity from Afar tonight!

This is the final post of our “Overcoming Series!!” We’re ending it off with a bang as Emily talks about lying!


I have grown up going to church my whole life. From the time I was born until I was about 10 years old, my dad was a children’s pastor. I’ve always known who God was and about how much He loved me. I’ve been to countless retreats and conferences and I’ve loved and trusted God with about everything. The thing is, I have always struggled to hear Him and really notice when it is He is talking to me. This past year has definitely been a wild season but coming into 2018, I can now see exactly what God has really taught me. But let’s start from the beginning…

January 2017. I had just come into a new year, but nothing was new. Nothing felt different because of how I had left my previous year. All I was doing was lying. Everyone who knew me saw something on the outside, but what was inside was way different. I was caught up in so many lies that it started happening on the daily. To my family, to my friends and even to my closest friend – my mom. You see, around this time I was becoming a Jr. High leader for BOOST, and honestly, that was the only thing making me feel like I was a good person. Grade 10 was so hard for me. I was doing awful in school, I was constantly slacking, I got caught up in liking a boy and my relationship with God felt like it was slowly dying, and that lead to me pushing it to the side.

I would hide every day because of the lies I was telling. I would get home from school and hide in my room all night unless I was eating dinner. I felt guilty about everything but for some reason, I felt so comfortable in the lies and I would use the excuse that ‘it was the only thing making me happy’ to make it feel okay. I would write down everything in a journal because I felt like that was the only place I could let it all out. But, for some reason, I found that God was always on my mind, even in the slightest ways.

Long story short, about half way through April my mom found my journal and she broke. I had never made her more disappointed than I did that day, and to this very day, we are still building for it. From there, I started getting in trouble a lot. For about a month I cut myself off from a lot of people and I wasn’t allowed to touch my phone because of how much it tempted me. I talked to my youth pastors and some people I really trusted and I started to feel like things were looking up again. I thought it would be a quick and easy “move on” but it really was not.

As summer came along, I was feeling a lot better about everything. I spent most of my time up at OVPC and things were feeling back on track. But from time to time I was doing things I knew I shouldn’t have been doing, and then I lied about them, once again. I started lying about my lying and it just turned into another huge mess. I knew then that I needed to turn things around, and that’s when I finally started feeling more open to God again.

In November, I had the chance to go on the leadership retreat with Woodvale. I went into that weekend expecting God to do something big – I wanted to hear him and I wanted it to happen that weekend. I was praying for a lot of things, my family, my friends, what my future was going to look like, etc. I wasn’t really thinking or praying about my past… but God clearly had other things planned for me to hear. During the second service, one of the Intencity leaders (who is also my beautiful cousin), Grace, came up to me and told me God gave her a word to share with me. She said this, “God wants you to know he forgives you. He knows how hard your year has been but he wants you to move on. You need to stop looking at the past and forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made. Move on.” From there I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I literally felt the Holy Spirit wash over me with peace and it gave me hope that everything was going to be okay.

Honestly, I wish I could say things have gone perfectly since then. But I’m human, and I mess up all the time. We all do… but why should all this matter to you?

We’ve all had bad seasons in our lives. If you’ve ever felt like you can’t move on because you’re holding onto your past, if you’ve ever done things you’ve regretted, if you’ve been hanging around the wrong people but you can’t let them go, if you’ve ever gotten yourself into the biggest string of lies, I’ve been there. Girl, I know how you feel. Sometimes it’s hard to accept the fact that what we are doing is wrong, but God sees your heart. Stop trying to hide your past and keep it from the ones you love. It’s when you’re truthful and open about what’s going on, that you then can see the light at the end of the tunnel. One of the biggest things I wish I had of known going into 2017, was that you need to open up. If you bottle up your fears, your mistakes, your feelings – you’re going to burst. God so badly wants to you to look to Him, He will always forgive you.


“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5




So before I sum things up, here are the 3 biggest things I’ve learned over this past year, and how you can overcome lying:


  1. When times get tough, tell someone.

When you’re stuck in a big lie it’s hard to trust people with your secrets. This year may have been super tough, but the most amazing thing came out of it for me.

During the winter youth retreat, I felt so depressed. I hadn’t told anyone about any of my secrets or about what I was going through emotionally and spiritually. I always put on the “I’m great, how bout you?!” face. All my life, I never really had a bestfriend that I could always count on. Someone who was just like me, loved me for me, had my back, someone I trusted. This was something I had been praying to have for years.

During one of the altar calls, I was at my breaking point. I needed to talk to someone, fast, but none of the people I knew there stood out enough for me to open up to. I was about to ball and I was praying so hard. As soon as I looked to my right, there was a girl standing a few feet over. I knew who she was but we weren’t really friends. My heart starting beating and God whispered to me, “Go.” I ran over to her and cried for an hour. I poured my heart out to her and she was so supportive. She was exactly what I needed and I knew God allowed that to happen for a reason.

To this day she has become my bestest friend. I’m so thankful God has put her in my life and I knew He put me in that situation for a reason. I honestly hated 2017, but becoming friends with Bronwyn (xoxo) was the highlight of my year. God really showed me that through chaos, He can make breakthrough.


  1. Look to God and He will help you.

This is something I wish I had done more. When lying became a habit for me, I didn’t turn to God like I should have. I was allowing myself to be tempted by the things of this world, and honestly it is still something I am working on. God was at the back of my mind and all I cared about was making sure no one knew anything about what I was going through.

The key is understanding that lying causes us to miss an even greater pleasure — the greatest pleasure of all. Jesus. I missed a lot of that. If I had of seeked God in the bad times, a lot of stress could have been lifted from my chest and things would have gone a lot different for me. He is always the answer.


  1. Tell the truth and it will set you free.

“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32


Once I forgave myself for everything and I knew God had his hand on me, I told some of my friends my story. It feels good and it allows you to move on and start fresh. Start writing a new story for yourself.

You really know who your friends are when the truth comes out. And for me, I could tell who I really needed in my life and who I needed to distance myself from. This year was filled with way too many toxic relationships with different people, and God really showed me how I needed to handle those situations.

But seriously, take my word for it. It feels SO GOOD. Once I opened up about everything to my family and friends, I was able to look forward. I was able to set my mind on Jesus and start over. Even writing this blog has helped me overcome some of those things!




So, am I expecting you to stop lying? Do I think that if you lie about something you aren’t a good Christian? No. Neither does God. Lying is an unfortunate part of life that’s always gonna be there. Everyone lies. The choice is up to you whether you want it to be a big change in your life or not.

There is a saying I’ve been hearing a lot over the last two months and I know now God has been showing it to me to tell me that good things are coming my way:

“The best is yet to come”

I want you to know, world changer, that whatever it is you are going through, there are always people who will be there and who will listen. There is an even bigger supporter on your side and He is right there if you just take his hand. I know this now. That’s why going into 2018, I have so many goals for myself. I know it won’t be easy and yeah, I’ll still probably mess up here and there, but thankfully Jesus died for us for that very reason.

So next time you find yourself caught up in a messy fib, just remember to breathe. Take a step back and remember who you’re serving and why you’re here. Remember that the best is yet to come and that you don’t need to lie.

You were created for a time such as this. So go out there and conquer the world.

Be honest and you will flourish. Be faithful and you will grow. Be who He has called you to be and you will thrive.


Love, Emily


What I’ve Learned About Healing

Dear World Changer,

If you’re like me (Jenny), you may have struggled with what God’s heart is when it comes to healing. For years, supernatural healing (I mean, the kind that happens in a moment, often times when people pray over you and/or anoint you with oil) was a tense subject for me. You see, I was born premature with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. The lack of oxygen to my brain is the reason my eyes are not “normal” (I have Superior Bilateral Oblique Nerve Palsy to be exact!). I have longed and prayed for my eyes to be touched and healed, for my depth perception to come back. But after two surgeries at a young age and years of prayer, nothing has changed. Then there’s my period. When it started a few years ago, it was obvious that that wasn’t going to be “normal” either! Without going into to too much detail, I was either bleeding too much, or not at all…there never seemed to be a middle ground. And then earlier this year I got diagnosed with cancer and just finished walking the road of chemotherapy… no supernatural healing there either.

Trust me, I have felt some of my lowest lows when it comes to me grappling with the “whys” and “why nots” surrounding the lack of supernatural healing in my life. But I have also experienced breakthrough in both my perspective on my different physical situations, and recent miraculous healing for one of those areas! And that is why I am writing this post. To share my story with you, in hopes that if you too have struggled or even become bitter towards God when it comes to miraculous healing, that you will be encouraged. So here it is…

When I was first diagnosed with cancer, one of the things the doctors had to tell me about was the possibility that the chemo drugs would possibly impact my fertility and probably stop my period for the extent of treatment. When it comes to fertility, apparently the chemo I received doesn’t stop many women from being able to become pregnant, and I had heard testimonies of women who had gone through the same treatment years ago and now have multiple kids, so this is not something I was/am concerned about. However, I did experience months without my period during chemo. Because my cycle had been so wonky from the start of my “period journey”, it wasn’t something that caught me off guard, but I did ask my oncologist how long it would take for my period to be back to normal after chemo. She told me to expect three months to go by before seeing a normal cycle again. So that is why it was such a shock when, during my last chemo treatment, I started spotting! And I even experienced a regularly length period!

A few things stood out to me from this recent miraculous healing. The first is the faithfulness of the Lord. I had been on a pill to regulate my cycle for about a year, when I suddenly decided to stop taking it just before retreat last year. I believed that God was going to heal my cycle, and the only way I would be able to tell was to stop the pill, and see if my body would function properly without it. And I had a regular period after retreat! Although I didn’t between March 2017 and the end of October I clung to the knowledge that the Lord had started a good work in me and would see it to completion. And I choose to believe now (even though I am waiting to experience my next cycle) that my period is indeed fully healed. The second thing that stood out to me is that the Lord is so kind and encouraging even after we have been bitter or cold towards Him. I had wondered why He hadn’t healed me years ago when my period first started being abnormal. I had been angry with Him before and during chemo about why I wasn’t miraculously healed, why I had to walk through treatment. And yet, He allowed my period to start and be regular on the last day of treatment. The last day of a treatment that had the potential to steal much more from me than my hair and my period. You see, I felt the Lord give me a promise a few months ago with regards to my future as a mother. I felt like He was saying that I would indeed have my own children, so I don’t need to fear the possibility of infertility. Well, He could have let me cling to that experience from months ago, yet with my period starting at the very same time as chemo was coursing through my body, it was almost as if I was receiving confirmation on that promise of fertility. That encouraged me a lot!

And remember how I mentioned that my perspective on healing had changed? Well, now I am not scared or reluctant to pray for healing in others. Just because I haven’t received healing, or received it the way I’ve wanted to, doesn’t mean I don’t pray for others to receive healing! I dare to hope, just like it says in Lamentation chapter 3, even if it is for someone else, because I know the character of God. He is loving and kind and merciful. And He knows exactly what is best for His children!

Lamentations 3:21-23: “Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.”

So, World Changer, you may still be wondering why I even wrote this post. I wrote it to encourage those of you who are walking through physical difficulty and don’t see healing as a possible option for you. I wrote it to encourage you to see the Lord as He truly is, as One who is able and kind, who will be there with you whether it is as a Comforter through the tough season, or as a Healer right now! Dear One, you are going to have great impact. Whether that comes through a testimony of miraculous healing, or through a testimony of walking through a dark season. Stay close to the Father and reject bitterness. Who knows what He has waiting for you just around the bend!

We, your female IntenCity Leaders, love you and are here to encourage you, listen to you, and walk with you through any season life throws at you. You are cherished and much loved! Here for you always.



Overcoming My Miscarriage

Dear World Changer,

We’ve been doing an “Overcoming” Series lately. Some of these posts have been about overcoming past events, and some, like this one, is learning how to overcome while you’re still walking through it.


One month ago Kyle and I lost a baby.

It was devastating as we looked at the ultrasound and didn’t see a heartbeat. We were so excited to be parents. Every decision we had to make, we had this little babe in mind.

I told Kyle by writing “I’m pregnant” on a pizza.


We told our parents with signs and Starbucks mugs.


We told our IntenCity leaders and close friends.

I’ve learned recently how many families suffer in silence when they miscarry. They tell you to wait 3 months before sharing the news for this reason. But more than anything, I’m glad we told a lot of people. I’m glad there were people to be excited with us and to mourn with us. And like any other situation whether it’s a miscarriage, going through a parents divorce, bullying, depression, anxiety…you should never suffer in silence.

We’ve learned a lot through this. A lot about ourselves, about faith, about healing. We shared this with our youth a few weeks ago and if you want to hear the “live” version, head over to IntenCity Youth’s podcast on iTunes.

We (Kyle and I), don’t share this for the “I’m sorry’s,” or the attention, or any other reason than we just want to be role models. And being a role model doesn’t mean JUST being an example in good times, but it’s being an example in the rough parts of life too. And we haven’t handled it perfectly. Not at all. But when I was younger, I would have died for someone to model how to cling to Jesus when life sucks. Because when I looked around me, when life threw a curve ball most turned to drugs and alcohol.

I don’t want to see a Christian go through good things, I want to see a Christian go through bad stuff because that really shows how tight you are with Jesus. And being tight with Jesus doesn’t mean you handle things perfectly, but it means that as you’re walking through the journey imperfectly, you’re walking with Him.

So here’s what a miscarriage has taught me.

Peace is a Thing…A Great Thing 

So often people pray that you’d have peace through sucky stuff, but rarely do we say “I accept that peace.”

I see a common pattern in how God works through cancer, divorce, death, feeling like our dreams have fallen apart etc.

It’s that a lot of the time, he calms you before He stops the circumstance.

I mean, could you imagine if He just babied us and stopped everything and attended to our every need right away? We wouldn’t grow. We wouldn’t get stronger. All through Bible College I heard the phrase “God cares more about your character than your comfort.” And boy does that ring true! And I’m glad He does. He really is a good good father.

Ever heard the term “storm” for rough seasons of life? Well, God gives peace while it’s still raining. 2 days after the ultrasound tech told us there was no heartbeat we were sitting in the doctor’s office to discuss options on how to get the baby out. And peace filled that room. Peace filled our hearts. And peace doesn’t mean you’re not crying or hurting or broken. But peace is this trust in God that you know everything is going to be okay and that He’s working behind the scenes to make everything come together for your good and you can’t see it at first but you know it’s there.

God gives peace that goes beyond our understanding. What that means it that you’re going to feel peace when it doesn’t make sense to have peace. Your world is crashing down yet you’re calm. And that’s a blessing. And I’ll say it again and again…I accept that peace.

Get Your Hopes Up

God brought me back to the story of when Jesus walks on water and Peter asked if he could walk on water too.

Peter asked Jesus “If this is really you Jesus, let me walk on water too.” And as he stepped out of the boat he saw 2 options. He saw the giant waves that could cause him to drown, and he saw Jesus. And seeing 2 options of how this could go (drowning or Jesus saving) caused doubt and that made him begin to sink.


We need to see one way…Jesus.


4 days after we got told we were miscarrying I got called into the doctor’s office immediately. My doctor looks at me and said “I’ve never seen this before, I’m 99% sure you’ve miscarried but there is this small chance your baby is alive.”

And at that moment, I had a decision to make.

Now most of you know my past. I’ve been a part of the stats since I was a kid.

I was in the 50% of kids whose parents divorce

I was the One in 20 who will experience death of a parent

I was in the 50% of families that are blended families

I was the 1 in 6 who get sexually assaulted


And so I just figured I would be the 20% of pregnancies that end in miscarriage.


***But you can’t base your theology off of your experience***


I was seeing 2 ways instead of one. I was seeing my baby dead and I was seeing Jesus. All my life it just seemed like if something bad was going to happen, it was coming MY way. So as a kid, I made the decision to never get my hopes up, then I would never be disappointed, and I would never have to grieve again.

I didn’t want to get disappointed. I didn’t want to get my hopes up that this baby was alive. I even told my doctor “I have zero hopes.” I didn’t want to believe in a miracle then have to grieve all over again. But I pushed myself to just see Jesus. To have the faith the size of a mustard seed and to get my hopes up (to be honest, it felt like my faith was a quarter of a mustard seed). But I prayed every 30 seconds that God would breathe life into this child. I got my hopes up.

Because faith is a RISK.

Next day it was confirmed that the baby had been dead for 3 weeks. It was a miscarriage. And I had to grieve all over again. But getting our hopes up wasn’t for nothing. It brought us to a new depth with Jesus, a new faith level.

Remember the woman in the Bible who was bleeding for 12 years? She had tried everything. She spent ALL she had on doctor’s visits getting her hopes up that she would be healed. Nothing worked. She heard Jesus was in town. I bet she had to make the decision, do I get my hopes up? There’s going to be a huge crowd, will I even get close enough? Will I even get to see him? Do I want to go through the disappointment of not being healed again?

But she got her hopes up. She fought through the crowds and crowds of people. This type of disease made you an outcast in the town. I bet she got nasty comments and hurtful glares as she ran to Jesus.

All she did was touch the edge of Jesus’ cloak and she was healed. That was worth getting her hopes up. And Jesus said, your FAITH has healed you.

Her story and mine are different. Both worth it. I got my hopes up in Jesus, he didn’t heal my baby, but he did heal Kyle and I’s heart and continues to do so.

I’ve learned not to discount the small miracles. We only see miracles one way, and if it doesn’t happen that ONE way, we don’t say it’s a miracle. But there are ALWAYS small little miracles happening. The doctors thought there was a cancer that caused the baby to die which would mean a lot of testing and doctors appointments for me. I got the results two week ago, and it was a normal pregnancy! Be grateful for the small miracles.

Your situation has to look impossible to know it was a miracle.

If you look at all the miracles in the Bible, each looked impossible. People who had lived with diseases all their lives who were so much considered outcasts that they weren’t even allowed in the town.

There was the little girl who was pronounced dead, Lazarus who was pronounced dead and even put in grave clothes!

We always think “God you showed up late, why didn’t you come WAY before this.” But it has to look impossible for us to know it’s a miracle. He is always right on time. And because of the impossibility of the situation, Jesus’ name was brought everywhere. People started to say, truly you are God!

Sit with grief

As a kid, I was the type of person that wanted to do everything perfect. So when I lost my Dad or went through anything else, I would just numb myself and act sad for “the right amount of time”, then get okay at the “right time;” the time that everyone told me. WRONG WAY of doing things!

Don’t let anyone tell you how to grieve. I used to think in my head, “stop telling me how I’m doing everything wrong, it’s not like I practiced loosing my Dad.”

And recently someone very wise (shoutouts to Pastor Shelley), told me, “sit with grief.” So this time around. We sat with grief. I picture grief like one of these guys (don’t make fun)


And you need to sit with grief in your bedroom, living room, wherever. You need to cry to grief, yell at grief, ask the why questions. And eventually grief will get out of your bedroom or living room and it won’t be there anymore. But if you numb yourself to grief and ignore it, grief will always be there. And it will start to look like anger and bitterness in you.

And everyone needs to sit with grief for however long you need too. Don’t worry about people pleasing, this is YOUR life, YOUR future. Deal with grief right.

Bear each other’s burdens

Never go through something alone. We’re not built for that. We need people. And it doesn’t mean that everyone on your Facebook needs to know, but SOMEONE needs to know!

Like I mentioned above, I am so thankful people knew about this.

And because people knew, we didn’t cook a meal for over a week, flowers and chocolate were brought to our house, gifts were brought to our house, family came over and cleaned and ran errands for us.

And although it’s been one of the toughest months of our lives, it’s been easier. We’ve felt like Moses. When Moses and his army were in war with the Amalekites Moses had to keep his arms raised, he had to hold the staff. And when his arms got tired, Aaron and Hur got him a rock to sit on and they each held an arm up for him, making it easier. They took some of the weight. That’s what it feels like when we bear each other’s burdens. We NEED each other! Never suffer in silence. Don’t keep things hidden and in secret, been there and done that! And the hurt and pain lasts longer.

There has to come a time when you LET GO

It’s crazy how quickly you get attached to an unborn baby. I was SO attached! For 9 weeks I had been pregnant. I had this embryo that went everywhere with me. And when it was time for surgery, I looked at Kyle and said “I don’t want them to take the baby out. Like I’m attached to this baby. It’s mine. I didn’t want it gone.”

And it painted this picture that we get attached to our storms.

But the sooner you let go, the sooner you can move on. The sooner that baby came out, the sooner I could get healthy again.

Jesus died so we could be free. Free from the burden of losing a child, or losing a parent, of the effects of divorce, of our sin, our shame and regret. Letting go comes at different stages for everybody, but it has to come. You have a purpose, God has this huge plan for your life and you can’t do it while holding onto your past.

Turn around

Remember the story of the 10 lepers?

There were 10 people with leprosy. And this disease made you an outcast in society, so much so, that they weren’t allowed inside the town so they stood outside the gates.

Jesus came by one day. And those 10 lepers stood outside the gate yelling and begging for Jesus to heal them. And he did. Jesus said “Show yourselves to the priest, you are healed.” And as they all walked away, only ONE leper turned around to thank Jesus.

Picture the one thing in your life that you really need a miracle for, or need healing from, or that one family member. And for years and years and years you’ve been praying for that. You beg God every 5 minutes and then one day, that miracle, that healing comes. And you never thank the God who did it. Imagine how that feels?

We need to turn around and be grateful. Even if the miracle doesn’t come like mine, I was taught by God to turn around for the health I’m in – a lot of stuff could have gone wrong but it didn’t. I thanked him for my husband, for the roof over my head, for our jobs, for food.

We have a lot going for us. Turn on the news for 2 seconds and you’ll realize how much we have to be thankful for.

A Friday night (Youth) or a Sunday morning shouldn’t be the only time we thank Him. TURN AROUND

Lord I will Still Love you

Even if the healing, or the miracle doesn’t come, will you still say “Lord I will still love you?”

If you lose all your money…

If you don’t get into the school you want…

If you get diagnosed with a disease or disability…

If you lose the people you love in your life…

Will you still say, Lord I love you.

I tell our youth this all the time. Jesus needs to be more than JUST Saviour, he needs to be LORD over your life.

Yes Jesus is Saviour, but that’s not all He is. If He’s only Saviour, than to you He can fail. If you only come to Him to ask for something (save me, do this for me, redeem this, give a miracle) and He doesn’t do it, He’s failed in your eyes. But when He is also LORD over your life, He can never fail because you KNOW he’s working everything together for your good whether it looks that way or not. Whether the miracle comes or not. Whether you get healed or not. He wants more than just “do this and do that.” He wants this personal relationship, this deep connection.

Put your life in his hands. Make Him LORD over your life, not just Saviour.


The cover picture for this post was a photo shoot Kyle and I did not too long ago. It was supposed to be the shoot where we would announce our pregnancy. But instead, it’s a reminder that my God is good. It’s a testimony that we’re okay. Okay enough to still do the shoot. Okay because we trust in God and His plans. And okay, because when our baby first opened their eyes, they saw Jesus.

What a perfect life for that child. And one day, we’ll get to meet our little treasure in Heaven.

Pastor Natasha